![]() ![]() So, that’s not the sense of security that we need to eliminate in our relationships. She is the author of 'Mating in Captivity: Reconciling the Erotic and the Domestic' and 'The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity. She runs a private psychotherapy practice in New York City and speaks regularly on erotic intelligence, cross cultural relations and infidelity. All of those things are awesome and they’re essential to a healthy relationship. Esther Perel is a licensed marriage and family therapist. Ideally, you should be able to rest in the knowledge that your partner loves you, that they’re faithful to you, and that they’re committed to keeping your relationship healthy and alive. In a committed relationship, you certainly should feel as though you’re able to relax and feel safe with your partner. Now that you have “your person” for life, you can relax and feel secure!. Gone are the lonely days of dates with incompatible losers gone is the exhausting quest of trying on other people to see if they fit. Here’s how it works in practice: when you enter into a long term relationship with someone - especially if you marry them! - our default assumption is to assume that that person will bring us a sense of security. She believes that “security” is one of the most harmful and pervasive misconceptions. ![]() ![]() But the author asserts that it’s also important to eliminate some other common misconceptions that cause dysfunction in our relationships. ![]()
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